Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Pope Repents and Becomes Orthodox! A Fictional Account

It started in the 60's when the Pope began to ask forgiveness for various "sins" of antiquity. Interestingly enough this new found repentance started about the same time as the Roman Catholic promotion of Ecumenism. If only the Papal confession included sins of heresy, the confessions might be less suspect. Here is a suggested list of real sins the current Pope might consider confessing:

A Fiction Account of Repentance:
“I, Pope John-Paul, would like to ask the forgiveness of the whole world for spreading my evil and destructive doctrine, which is called Roman Catholicism.
“Among the heresies I would like to renounce is the heresy of the Filioque, which destroys the theological understanding of the Trinity. I would also like to renounce the following heresies:
“our diabolical teaching on purgatory, which is similar to the teaching of Origen;
“the teaching on the immaculate conception which we have thought up;
“our use of statues, like the pagans and idol-worshippers;
“the ban on our clergy entering into marriage;
“our introduction of the papist calendar;
“our distortion of all the sacraments which we accepted when we were Orthodox – for example, our heretical practice of baptism by sprinkling, which is like the practice of the Protestants, and our use of unleavened bread, which is like the Jews;
“our teaching that I the Pope am infallible, a teaching that forms the foundation of all the above-mentioned sins, which thereby witness to the fact that I am not infallible.
“I would also like to repent of the fact that I have drawn the Orthodox patriarchs of our century into the new heresy of ecumenism.
“From all the above examples it is evident that I have fallen away from True Christianity, and therefore both my actions and those of my predecessors are like the actions of the pagans, like whom I in the name of ‘Christianity’ killed, burned and destroyed everything that I could and everyone that I could for the sake of spreading my false teachings.
“The list of such evil works includes the Inquisition, when innocent people were burned at the pillar of shame, which witnesses to my unchristian attitude to people; and the crusades, which ravaged the capital of Orthodox Byzantium, Constantinople; the invasion and conquest of America, as a result of which with my blessing the two main indigenous civilizations there were annihilated; the murder by dismemberment of the holy Martyr Peter the Aleut, an Orthodox Christian who suffered in San Francisco at the hands of my Jesuit monks because he did not want to convert to my disgusting faith; and in our century, my predecessor Pius XII’s blessing of forcible conversion in Croatia, during which 800,000 Orthodox were killed because they did not want to convert and be subject to my papal authority.
“From all the above it follows that I am in a wretched condition, and I intend to ask forgiveness. I intend to renounce this heretical teaching and accept Orthodox baptism…” (From The True Church in The Last Times by Vladimir Moss)


  1. Anonymous11:56 PM

    A Tale of Proposed Re-Union
    Let's imagine (for expedience) that the Patriarchs of Constantinople, Moscow & Jerusalem are gathered together for a meeting. The meeting was cordial and was not driven by any crisis or dispute. Simply a fraternal gathering of the patriarchs who happen to be (in order) first among equals, leader of the largest Orthodox body, and patriarchal bishop of the see where the Church was founded.Now Pope Benedict XVI heard about this meeting and thinks to himself "I am SICK and tired of the division between the Greeks and Latins. Today is the day to do something about it, and return to unity! He jumps on a plane, flies to the meeting, prostrates himself before the three patriarchs and implores "Brothers forgive Us for division! We apologize unreservedly for the sack of Constantinople 800 years ago, We apologize for allowing "uniats" and return all Byzantine Souls to you, and now We renounce any objectionable claims and teachings on the part of the Church of Rome that impedes our communion! Please brothers, let us be divided no more, and let Us know what is to be done and to return Our patriarchate to Orthodoxy! We beg communion and renounced any papal & western claims to return to the fullness of Eucharistic Unity. This very day We wish to stand at the altar untied with you in faith and love!" The three patriarchs are frozen. Patriarch Bartholomew II is speechless! This is taking a second to grasp! Could this REALLY be true? Oh how to proceed! He thinks for a second and looks around and says "Quick get on the phone and call Pope Theodoros II, the Patriarch of Alexandria and Patriarch Ignatius IV of Antioch and have them come here, then we will have all five members of the Pentarchy here!"Patriarch Alexi II of Moscow - whose patriarchal see is not considered one of the ancient sees of the pentarchy interjects "Yes! Yes! But that really isn't all of us that should be here for this! Lets also get all the patriarchs of the patriarchal churches here for this! Call the patriarchs of Georgia, Serbia, Romania, & Bulgaria they should be here too!""Good idea!" the other two agreed.Well they all arrive in very short order. They were all very busy, but for a moment like this you charter a plane, get on the bus, fill up the dirigible with helium, commission a camel caravan or gas up your autogyro! This is not to be missed! Even at such short notice, there was an amazing uniformity, speed and assent for all of these men to agree to meet. As though the Holy Spirit had really softened all rough edges on all hearts. Not one leader, to the man, dragged his feet, protested, or declined invitation! Something was in the air, and the politics of national churches needed to be forgotten.When all the patriarchs have arrived, they give thanks and praise. Many of them have known each other for years. Some of them have never met. Others have been involved with each other in small disputes over the years that none of them can seem to remember right now. Who has time, that is in the past! They greet one another with the kiss of peace and warmly embrace. Much like a wedding can bring a far-flung family together, the air is filled with much hope, excitement and conviviality! Teoctist of Romania suggests to the other Patriarchs "Brothers, that this is a moment of such rejoicing, surely we must invite the Metropolitan Archbishops of the rest of the Orthodox Autocephalous Churches to be with us on this day! Certainly the leaders of the autocephalous, Church of Cyprus, Church of Greece, Church of Poland, Church of Albania, Church of the Czech Lands and Slovakia, and the Orthodox Church in America should be here as well!"The Patriarch of Constantinople points out that is a blessed idea... but he does NOT recognize the autocephalous of the Orthodox Church in America. The Patriarchs of Moscow, Bulgaria, and Georgia are quick to exclaim "But we do!" They look around and have chuckle. On a day when Rome is about to be returned to Orthodoxy, the small technical matter of the Orthodox Church in America's canonical status can be addressed another day! It is agreed that Metropolitan HERMAN of Washington and New York should also be invited. Given the august occasion and the dignity enjoyed by the by the leaders of the autonomous Orthodox churches they too should be present! All are agreed about the leaders of Church of Sinai and the Church of Finland leading autonomous churches. The Patriarch of Moscow also believes the leaders of the Church of Japan, Church of China, and the Church of Ukraine should be present. "But" says the Patriarch of Constantinople, "I do not recognize their autonomous status, and you forgot to mention the Autonomous Orthodox Church of Estonia!"The Russian Patriarch cocks his eyebrow and thinks for a brief moment before pointing out, "You know, Moscow has never recognized the autonomy of the Orthodox Church of Estonia! But I tell you what, let bygones be bygones this day, and we will recognize it as an autonomous church if you the Patriarch of Constantinople will do the same for Japan, China, and Ukraine! Deal??"The Patriarch of Constantinople looks at his Russian brother with a warm smile and cries out, "Oh brother, today IS the day to act like true brothers! Yes! Agreed, let us put these arguments of status aside once and for all!"It is then firmly agreed by all of the Patriarchs present that all the autonomous and autocephalous churches shall be invited and they are now in universal agreement on which churches posses what status. It actually is a tremendous relief. Jurisdictional squabbling will be a thing of the past! This is especially relieving to the Serbian Patriarch who rises to speak."Theophilia! Something that has made my heart heavy is the situation of Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia Now even though they are neither recognized as autonomous or autocephalous, the Patriarch of Jerusalem and Church of Serbia and the Church of Mt. Sinai have been in communion with this group for some time. It grieves us the anger and dismay that this has caused between us, brothers! Now maybe it is not for us today to discuss who has jurisdiction over these faithful, but they concelebrate at our altars, and they are our brothers. May we invite them to witness this and be with us on this day? It is too very momentous to leave our brother bishops out of this!"Everyone looks to the Patriarch of Moscow. He stands and says, "You know we have been exchanging communications with ROCOR for a few years now. We never approved of how certain of our Patriarchal brothers welcomed ROCOR clergy to their altars. BUT we know that the past century was a troubled one for the Russian people and her holy orthodox church. We don't want to live in the past, we want to quicken the rapprochement! Perhaps this is the event where it can and should happen!"At this point the Patriarchs of Bulgaria and Romania look at each other, and nod. They both rise, and the former announces, "We the Patriarchs of the Churches of Bulgaria and Romania have to confess that we have a small bit of distaste for this proposal. You see while Patriarchs Theophilus III of Jerusalem & Pavle of Serbia have been in communion with ROCOR, ROCOR has in turn been in communion with schismatic "Old Calendar" churches in OUR countries and in Greece and North America. These schisms have divided families and hurt the unity of the faithful and we never understood why our brother patriarchs would share the chalice with a body that supports and share altars with Old Calendarists! Brothers why did you do this to us?"Patriarchs Theophilus III of Jerusalem & Pavle of Serbia are stunned! They look at each other, and then look at Patriarchs of Maksim or Bulgaria and Teocist of Romania and lament! "Oh brothers, we did not mean to injure you and cause pain. WE did what we believed in our hearts was the right thing, but on this day of joy and celebration, can we all forgive?""YES!" They all cry! Cheers, weeping, and kisses of peace wave over the crowd of hierarchs. So it is settled. Within 72 hours the Patriarchs and Metropolitans of Various Autocephalous, Antonymous and previously questionable canonical jurisdictions are gathered in a council, preparing to welcome the Pope of Rome into Orthodoxy.Seated next to the Patriarch of Antioch is a young cleric from the US who had been involved in the Evangelical Orthodox Church movement before it came to be a part of the Antiochian archdiocese. In his exuberance over what he is about to witness and with great excitement, he finds himself moved by the spirit and shouts ''A new era is beginning. Let us put this aside as we gather to return the Pope of Rome to Orthodoxy and restore Orthodoxy in the West to the state it existed for the first 1000 years during the glorious era of the first 9 ecumenical councils when the whole Eastern Church was one, and let us enter into communion with a Roman Pontiff for the first time since 1054!"The Hierarchs take no offense to the young convert clerics excitement - there is something heady in the air and they understand the poor young man speaking out of turn, but..."Actually our Church only numbers 7 ecumenical council in our modern literature, but to be fair his Church," (pointing to another Patriarch) "considers there to be 9 " Notes one."We enjoyed cordial relations with the Roman Church for many centuries. It was when rival patriarchates were established in the 1700s and Latins recognized one and the Greeks the other that the division became rather clear" the Antiochian Patriarch points out.Another offers, "Several of our predecessors did enter a union with Rome before, but it was widely rejected later and the folks that remained in union were Uniates""Really, the Eastern Church had already been divided by the third Ecumenical council, the Assyrian Church of the East only recognizes the first two and the Oriental Orthodox only the first four" a venerable soul explains."Well that IS something to think about! But now that Rome is becoming Orthodox we will at least get the Assyrian Uniates and the Oriental Uniates and the Maronites back into true Orthodoxy!" a hierarch pipes in.Now Pope Benedict is standing off in the corner, and while anxious and excited, he is patient, because he is here to do whatever needs to be done to return to Orthodoxy…

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  3. Anon,
    Or not. Short story: Rome repents of its doctrinal sins as stated in the post (and on which you failed to comment)and they are received by those who are in communion with one another. Its a start..

  4. To whichever "Anon" posted the "Baptist Deacon" comment...Athanasius was a Deacon.

  5. JTO:

    first of all, I really do appreciate your blog, it is one of the blogs I follow daily. But I cannot see why the affection you seem to have to the "schismatic" groups. Earlier, you linked to the "genuins", still you link to ROAC, and now you also link to ROCOR Refugees...(I would rather recommend the "opposite" blog, "ROCOR Unity").

    Forgive me, I do not mean this as criticism. And even more, I don't really have a right to write these words, since I have not yet even been received into the bosom of the Church.

    I'm just a bit suprised.

    Continue your blogging, it has been of value for me!

  6. Omorphia,
    Thank you for your sincere question and for your kind tone. As we all make our Journey to Orthodoxy we must realized that it takes time for our hearts to transform to the doctrines and disciplines of the Church. You mentioned not being in the bosom of the Church, yet you are asking some valid questions to take you deeper. This is good. I am in the bosom and I am discovering things from this vantage that surprise me. The state of the Church as a whole, the apostasy from Dogma, Canons, Scripture coming from the hierarchy of most major Orthodox jurisdictions is alarming and can send one into despair. When one becomes convinced that it is happening it is not difficult to admire groups like ROAC who tenaciously adhered to that which was handed down. They fight Ecumenism and Sergianism and are being persecuted, tortured, physically attacked by the Moscow Church with which they refused to commune. I don't think it is accurate to consider the smaller group the schismatics if it is the large of the group that is apostatizing. ROCOR in America is the group that went against their 60-80 year condemnation and anathema of the Moscow Patriarchate as heretical, to join with them. ROAC, groups like them and the ROCOR in Russian refused to...and they are accused of being schismatic? Why? Because they will not submit to the Moscow Patriarchate who was established by Joseph Stalin, still is controlled and infiltrated by former KGB, was responsible for the genocide of millions of our Orthodox Brothers and is led now by a multi-billionaire who amassed his great wealth by cooperation with an atheistic state by the import of alcohol and tobacco? Once one does research on the history of the unrepentant Moscow Patriarchate it comes clearer as to whom has broken from true Orthodoxy. It is certainly not the faithful Bishops of ROAC and others in Russian including the catacomb Christians who are having their lives, lands, churches, stripped from them by violence at the hands of the apostate Moscow church and Putin's government. Please check back. I'm preparing to post articles concerning these matters, so stay tuned. In the mean time read the documents on the ROACUSA.Org site. Lord have mercy, even Wikipedia has it right on the origins of the Moscow Patriarchate...

  7. Except for the typos... :)


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