
"Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).
Before my entrance into the Orthodox Church I served in the establishment of two Charismatic Episcopal Churches (ICCEC) in two cities. I pitched in, full-fledged, with all fervor, willing to do all that was needed. Self-sacrifice, commitment to the hilt, in order to accomplish all that was needed. To serve my priest, my Bishop and the people for God was my joy, my duty my task. Set up our borrowed room which served as our Temple. Choose the music, set up the instruments. I would also drive once a month from Central Arkansas to North Texas to attend the ICCEC seminary. Two years of travel, study, tests, accountability, so that I may be deemed worthy for ordination. We purchased a building. With that came the cleaning, the construction of the hand-made pews with nails screws assembly and staining, the sleeping on the floor of the Temple so as to get an early start of the next day's temple doings, the laborious and physically challenging roofing of the rectory, all for the cause of the Church of Christ. I served at the altar, unworthily, fearfully, yet under the grace of my priest.
My heart grew barren as I saw the incompleteness of the brand of faith I was in, even more so when the man-made denomination began to unravel at the seams. My heart was one step ahead of the demise of the ICCEC as I sought God to lead me to the Church where His glory was fully expressed. I thought I had found that promised land and gradually became aware that the ICCEC was only a bridge to that land. The bridge was shaky, began to sway in the wind and ultimately collapsed. So is the way of any Christian group which is not under the umbrella of the One Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church-the Orthodox Church. Orthodox means- "right glory" or the place where God's glory dwells.
As I stepped into the Orthodox Church, that place where The Truth has been preserved for 2000 years, I brought my identity, my task-dependent soul, with me. I was no longer on a course for ordination. With the two years of seminary gone and the five years of church building finished, I set about what I knew to do...tasks. Surely such is honorable and the Church needed a good worker like me. Surely the church would recognize my servant's heart and be as convinced as I of my value. There was so much to do, so many tasks gone undone. So, "I pitched in, full-fledged with all fervor, willing to do all that was needed. Self-sacrifice, commitment to the hilt, in order to accomplish all that was needed. To serve my priest, my Bishop and the people of God was my joy, my duty, my task." First was the ushering, then came driving the youth to and from camps, then came the youth adviser position for SOYO, then came managing the bookstore. Why weren't more people helping? Why was so much being left undone?
"Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me."
If the joy of the Lord is my strength then why was I weak, growing tired and fainting from the faith?
But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."
There is need of only one thing and the thing I had chosen did not give me strength. I was distracted by my many tasks. I entered the faith with the heart of Mary seeking peace and serenity, worshiping at the feet of Jesus, but I soon picked up the mantle of Martha. My intention was to remain quiet, out of sight, to not promote myself, so I, being deceived in my own intentions, set myself about the hidden tasks. But the heart of Martha eventually takes on the root of bitterness and judgment toward others. A war begins to rage within and conflict arises. In my pseudo-desire not promote myself I did the opposite.
The fact is, God does not need any of us to do anything for Him. He is totally capable. I wish I could creep out of my task-making as slowly as I had entered, but for me it is not possible. I must retreat as Christ did from the business, the clamor, the noise, the crowds. I must do it now. I must leave the public ministry at the Temple.
I must get back to the Orthodox way, the Mary way, the One Thing. Forgive me if I seem aloof, distracted, not as full of enthusiasm and willingness to help, but I must sit at the feet of the Lord to hear what He is saying. I must choose the better part for there is only need of one thing.